Tuesday, March 11, 2008

How To Use Your Skills To Build Rapport

There was an article sent to me today about building rapport with clients. It is essential for me to build rapport with my clients in order for our work together to be successful. I realize however, that it is essential to build rapport with anyone whom I hope to engage in a peaceful relationship. In Fawn Germer's book (The New Woman Rules), she discusses how important networking is. Networking is work Germer states.

Over and again, the successful women she wrote about, mention the relationships they build along their journeys. One particularly interesting analogy came from Tara Weiner. She spoke of tribal dances performed by men of the tribe before the hunt or to bring rain. The dance isn't about making rain or improving the hunt as much as it is about bonding. Building rapport with each other.

Neuro-lingusitic programming offers many ways of creating rapport. If you observe two people conversing who have rapport, you notice how they naturally move in step with each other. It is like a dance, elegant and in unison. In NLP, this is called matching and mirroring. One wants to be aware, however, not to just mimic. People respond positively to mirroring, while they do not like mimicry or the feeling that they are being made fun of.

The other thing to keep in mind is pacing. In order to lead somebody, to influence them with your point of view, remember to really listen to them. You want to fully acknowledge them and truly understand where they have come from. Remember, be patient about it.

This is only the beginning of building rapport, but two very important steps. Observe people while you are out and about over the next few days. Notice if you can tell without hearing a word they speak whether they are happy to be together or angry or even disinterested.

1 comment:

Cindy said...

There it is again....Networking :>))....what so attracted me in Fawn's book The New Woman Rules! As far as NLP, it is interesting to watch how people relate to each other. In my work as a critical care nurse, I can usually tell the type of rapport between a patient and a family member at the bedside within seconds of entering the room. You know whether the basis at that moment is taking it in stride and in control or stressed and out-of-sorts. And most all do have reason to be stressed. The family members that sit peacefully at the bedside and calmly offer their support always intrigue me...I then throughout the course of the day ask them how they met, how long they have been together, etc. The couples that mirror back this sense of peacefulness to each other are Amazing with gratitude for life and seem to step-up to each challenge they face with positivity and grace. Relationships in all walks of life have the potential to teach us all something valuable...and then hopefully we will use this wisdom along our walk of life.